Welcoming a new sibling

Welcoming a new baby is a very exciting phase in building up your family. However, parents should also consider how an older child may feel knowing that she now has a competition for mom and dad's attention. It shouldn't be the case, it's a matter of preparing your older child. I was particular on this matter with my daughter. I made every step to make her feel more comfortable with the arrival of her baby brother. I made her feel secure and less displaced by making her part of the welcoming committee.

Even before my son was born, I have prepared my daughter by always telling her what to expect; that she will be Mommy's little helper in taking care of the baby. I let her feel my tummy and talk to his brother while inside the womb, and tell her things like how a baby's sleep pattern can affect mom's sleep pattern. This way she won't be surprised when mommy wakes up late. Or things like the advantages of being an "ate" (older sister), like she can teach lots of stuff to him. Most importantly, "ownership" is a major part of welcoming by choosing words like "baby brother" rather than the "new baby", this way she knows that she is part of the team.

She played a role in taking care of her newly born brother. Even though most of my family members do not agree since my son was born underweight, my family was so scared to even carry him, the very reason why they were very careful with my daughter around him. But that did not stop me from letting her be close as possible to her brother, with my supervision, she was able to sleep beside him, feed him, cuddle and play with him. I also give her assignments such as handing me the diaper or the towel, holding the feeding bottle, preparing her baby brother's clothes and stuff that she enjoys doing.




Studies say that children with the closest relationships with their mothers show the most upset after the baby is born while children with a close relationship with their father seem to adjust better. With that in mind, I tried to be more affectionate in terms of my relationship with my daughter. This way I believe I am minimizing sibling rivalry and play down any power struggle as early as possible. There are times that she would "act out" like a baby, get cranky and throw some tantrums but I know that she only wants assurance that she is still loved.






When I had my daughter, I thought I would never love any creature as much as I have loved her. This is my motivation in carefully establishing a sibling bond between my kids. Although a mother's love is I believe "automatic", adjustments are still needed. I believe in my heart that I have done something right since I can see how they truly care for each other despite the fact that they get into each other's nerves.

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